Gloria’s Cosmic Cougar Awakening

Baby… let me tell you about last night.

I was sitting on my old velvet floor cushion, incense burning, Fleetwood Mac on the record player, just vibing and rolling my hips the way I used to back in ‘74. I had my boobs out in my soft crocheted bralette, no bra ever tamed these, and my long silver hair was hanging all the way down my back like moonlight itself.

Then he knocked on the door.

Twenty-something. Tall. Nervous. Cute in that “I’ve never been ruined by a grandma before” kind of way. Said he came over to help me “set up my Wi-Fi router.”

Baby… he walked into my den of sin and never stood a fucking chance.

He kept glancing at my chest, at the way my skirt hugged my hips, and I could practically feel his heartbeat pounding out of that tight little shirt of his. So I asked him, real soft:

“Sweetheart… have you ever made love with someone who knows what she’s doing?”

His knees actually buckled.

I pulled him onto the rug — my vintage shag rug that’s seen more orgasms than most bedrooms — and straddled him slow. He smelled like youth and nerves and pure, unspoiled potential.

The way he moaned when I touched him? Honey, that sound could recharge a dead crystal.

I rocked on top of him like I was riding the sun itself, every grind slow and intentional, teaching his body rhythm, patience, pleasure. His hands shook on my hips, like he couldn’t believe a woman my age could feel this soft, this warm, this hungry.

And when he finally came apart underneath me, breathless and begging?

I kissed his forehead and whispered:

“Go ahead, baby. Catch your breath. We’re not done until I say we’re done.”

Because the thing about being an older woman is this—
we don’t rush, we don’t apologize, and we sure as hell don’t stop after one round.

He left limping.

I smoked, stretched, and thanked the universe.

And baby… if you want your own cosmic cougar experience?
Gloria’s here. Bare feet, big heart, open chakras, wicked mouth.

Come get spiritual.