Vivian was strolling down the trendy boutique district, indulging in a day of retail therapy, when suddenly a weasely, unremarkable man sidled up to her. He stank of desperation and cheap cologne, and Vivian could sense his eyes devouring her curves with a hungry, lecherous gaze.

“Hey there, beautiful,” he croaked, extending a clammy hand. “I’m Barry. Mind if I join you for a bit?”

Vivian raised an eyebrow, her full lips curling into a mocking smile. “Barry, huh? How Original. And I’m Vivian, sweetheart. But please, don’t waste your time. I’m not interested.”

Barry’s face reddened, his hand retracting in shock. But he quickly regained his confidence, or rather, his lack thereof. “Ah, come on, I’m not that bad looking, am I?” He looked down at his scrawny frame and receding hairline, clearly oblivious to his own deficiencies.

Vivian burst out laughing, drawing curious glances from passersby. “Oh, honey, you’re about as attractive as a limp dick. But since you seem determined to embarrass yourself further, why don’t we have a little fun?”

She grabbed his slender wrist and dragged him into the nearest lingerie shop, where she began tossing lacy push-up bras and crotchless panties into a shopping cart. “You’re going to buy all of this, Barry. Every last piece. And then, you’re going to strut your pathetic ass around town like the frilly little diva you’re meant to be.”

As they navigated the store, Vivian couldn’t resist running her fingers through Barry’s limp, greasy hair and giving his scrawny ass a hard squeeze. “Mmm, such a cute little package, aren’t you?” she cooed, her hot breath tickling his ear. “I bet your tiny dick barely fills these panties. But they’ll look perfect on you, won’t they, baby boy?”

Barry’s eyes widened in horror and humiliation, his skin burning with mortification as Vivian continued her public ridicule. “Please, just stop,” he whined, trying to pull away.

“Oh, no, darling. We’re just getting started,” Vivian purred, leading him to the fitting rooms. “Try these on for me, Barry. Show me how natural you look in this frilly getup.”

As he reluctantly disappeared into the cubicle, Vivian leaned against the flimsy fabric, a wicked grin spreading across her face. This was going to be even more fun than she anticipated.

A few agonizing minutes later, Barry emerged, looking like a clown in a tutu and a corset, his scrawny chest strained against the lacy fabric. Vivian let out a delighted squeal, snapping pictures on her phone for the ‘gram.

“Oh, honey, you’re a vision! A real-life Ken doll, minus the Ken part. I think you should wear this every day from now on,” she crooned, her gaze roving over his awkward, embarrassed expression.

As they left the store, Vivian ensured Barry carried the numerous bags and packages, forcing him to mimic a feminized totter. “Walk like that, Barry. A bit more hip swivel, please. You want to attract the ladies, don’t you?”

Barry’s face contorted in anguish, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. Vivian relished his distress, knowing she’d ruined him for any future attempts at seduction. As they parted ways, she blew him a mocking kiss. “Have fun, Barry! And don’t forget your new wardrobe for the next pickup attempt!”

Watching him stumble away, Vivian shook her head in amusement. Just another pathetic man brought low by a woman’s scorn, his dignity in tatters, his tiny dick relegated to the dusty shelves of history. She couldn’t wait to share her hilarious story with her girls at happy hour. After all, a girl’s got to have some fun, especially when the world is full of such sorry, undersized specimens as Barry.